Well, its been a whirlwind few weeks with me. This is not easy to sit down and write, but I feel I must. We must understand that not all times will be glorious while we are here on earth and that we are so frail and unworthy on our own.
I have learned a very hard lesson in the last few weeks, one that I thought I was not even needing! Isnt that funny how that works, I'm glad God knows better.
I was introduced to the "old Marissa" the one I knew about 12-13 years ago. She was very lost and thought that to get attention was to lower her standards, fufilling her desires her way. Let me tell you, she wasn't "dead" like I thought she was. I met a guy and he was nice and everything and really I didnt think much of it, we just became friends very quickly. Until I realized that I wasnt asking myself...."Is this glorifying God?" I would admit I was a Christian and then my actions and words would not reflect that of Jesus. I am so not proud of who I saw. It happened so fast, that I didnt even realize it! That is how our enemy works, he lets you get your guard down and BAM!
I believe now that God was right there, with me the whole time, allowing me to just do what I wanted, knowing that in the end He would get my attention; afterall, He does have my heart.
Now I am not going into details, and really there arent any. Its just that here I was thinking all that I have gone through that I was so close to Jesus and walking along and really....I was so far and still have so far to go.
I am so thankful, that no matter how far I go, Jesus takes me back EVERYTIME! He is so full of mercy and grace. Mercy and grace that we can not possibly understand.
Our pastor preached Sunday on relationships that do not honor God....how perfect!!
I am glad He pulled me back to Him before I went too far down a road I so didnt want to go.
I felt like Peter, when Jesus told him he would deny Him and Peter just couldnt believe that...
until he did. Oh Peter, I so feel the pain you felt.
If you are a brother/sister dealing with temptation or just stepping away from your walk...or maybe you just dont know Jesus yet... be assured that He is there and just call on His name and He will answer...ask for prayer , it is powerful. Realize that God will not allow you to walk away where He can not grab you.
Do not let shame keep you from Christ, that is what the enemy wants. It is never easy
to admit failure....but
Remember if we were perfect...we would not need a SAVIOR!
Thank you Jesus for calling me back home!
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