Me again

Well it has been almost 5 years since my last entry. 5 YEARS! How does that much time pass?! What have I been doing? Well just living or trying to. I finished up college, yeah!! My boys are now men! :( One has graduated high school and college and the other is finishing high school heading to college.
We moved back "home" for me. It has been an adjustment but it was time. As I get older I realize how much I want to be rooted in the right place and that is NC for me. I have fallen in love with NC like never before.
There is no way I will get in 5 years of catching up into one blog entry so I am not going to try. I will simply start with why I am beginning to write again. I spent so many years clinging to God, finding Him, searching for Him, and loving Him only to find myself lost in a sea of doubt at times. I don't doubt who He is or what He says but I doubt my own ability to follow after Him fully at times. I have failed miserably over the years but I know He is there. This is my search for Him again in the very deepest part of my heart. I do not believe anyone loses salvation and I am not saying that is where I am. What I am saying is that I strayed off to do life my own way, without even knowing it at times, and it left me empty. There are times I don't pray like I should or spend time with God like I should and the enemy consumes my thoughts. Before I know it, I am over my head in a fierce battle with him and I am not prepared.
So, how does one get back to that place of peace when they have strayed so far? The answer is in scripture and in God Himself. He awaits the prodigal. He rejoices over our return and He will run to us with the best treasures when He sees us returning. I want to see my Father running to me as I fall on my face in humility to say, "I am not worthy, but yet you love me".
I am still unmarried. I have begun the "dating" process a few times and it is not for the weak for sure! I do believe it is God's will for me to be married but no idea of His timing. I may write a little about my experiences but will keep names private to protect the innocent :) LOL. I will be transparent about my parenting alone as well as life as a single woman alone. I don't know who reads anything I write but if you are out there I pray whatever I write brings you encouragement and strength for what you need today. We are always in a battle, it is our armor that will defend us. That armor has to be put on daily, sometimes hourly. His promises are true no matter what we face. No matter what it looks like or how much time passes. He is a promise keeper. I am choosing to believe that because He has proven it to be true!